A Tour Guide Is Born!

Many years ago I had the opportunity to travel with my father to Greece. This was the first trip he had taken since Alzheimer’s interfered with my mother’s ability to travel. My image had been to sail the Greek Isles and lay on the beautiful, sandy beaches. What an image that was in my mind!


My father and I are adventurous souls, so when we boarded our ship and set sail through the Aegean Sea, we decided to do many of the excursions. My image of sunbathing on the Greek Isles soon faded into something very different. I had to do an attitude adjustment, and when I did the trip was amazing. Instead of sunbathing at each port, we traipsed through the ancient ruins, learning much about a civilization so old it would have been equivalent to 30 or more generations before us.

My father, even then, was a little hard of hearing. I became an instant tour guide. It was really quite funny and entertaining. I would listen to the tour guide and then repeat to my dad the main points that the tour guide shared. I think it was on this trip that I truly became fascinated with history and visiting places in person to learn all I could about a country, its culture, its story, and its people. As I would recap the main points for my dad, all of a sudden my audience grew – by leaps and bounds! It seemed that many people at the back of the crowd had difficulty hearing, so they were enjoying their “audience participation” with their adopted tour guide…me!

It reminded me of a time years earlier when my friend Mary and I traveled, camping, along the Blue Ridge parkway. We had visited a cavern with stalagmites and stalactites and Mary volunteered me for the tour guide when they asked someone from the group to help out! I guess I am a natural born tour guide! I certainly have fun learning and sharing, especially through travel!

What We Can Learn from Our Surroundings - A Visit to Florida Oceanographic Society in Stuart, Florida

I recently visited my godson, his wife and daughter, and his brothers and mother in South Florida. We visited the Florida Oceanographic Society in Stuart, Florida and watched Isabelle, almost 4, play with stingrays, watch the fish being feed, and pick up the hermit crab among other things. She was mesmerized with the sea life and loved the animals and the outdoors!

During our visit we watched the stingrays swim around their manmade home and we saw one black sting ray. I didn’t think anything of it until a volunteer told us that there were no black sting rays – that was just a suntan and it would disappear after the sting ray was in the shade for a while. I thought that was pretty fascinating.

I also learned about the sea cucumber. I had first become aware of this sea creature, which looked like a cucumber on the bottom of the ocean, a few years ago during a trip to the keys. A volunteer told us that when the sea cucumber gets scared it can blow water out its mouth, and if it feels threatened it can blow its stomach out of its mouth, in essence kind of turning itself inside out. The stomach has a very undesirable aroma, which sends the predator away. The sea cucumber can then regrow its stomach.

We also learned about plants, one which smelled like a skunk if you were upwind at the wrong time and another that the Indians used to use to catch fish, I believe called a CoinVine. The CoinVine had small seeds. They would throw it in the water and it would reduce the oxygen in the water, so the fish would come to the surface…being easier to catch!

It’s interesting how nature, as well as humans, can adapt to their surroundings. Maybe we can learn a thing or two from plants, animals, and nature! There is even information for teachers and students at their website, http://www.floridaoceanographic.org/

French Rivera, Cannes, and Florence

It was in the 1990’s that I had the opportunity to travel with my sister and father to the French Rivera. Between the vacation club we had signed up for earlier and the frequent flyer miles I had from my traveling job the entire trip cost us less than $500 for over a week. That was less than it cost me to camp at Yellowstone for a week in the U.S.!

It was truly inspiring to walk along the sidewalk where the Cannes Film Festival was held each year, stroll through the artist community in this sleepy French town near where we stayed, visually take in Monte Carlo as our train passed it on the way to Florence and Piza.

I remember even then when our father pushed my sister and me to secure a hotel reservation prior to arriving in Florence (after a night on the train). We both felt we were avid travelers and knew we would have no problem finding a hotel because it was off season and in the middle of the week. As we left dad sitting in a diner and ventured out to find our lodging we discovered that he really did know what he was talking about! After four stops all we found was a penthouse for $500 per night. We decided we would try one more place before taking that and we stumbled across a beautiful hotel called the American, a block off the square.

To visit the museums such as the Uffizi Gallery, see the work of masters such as Leonardo da Vinci, learn the secrets of the great philosophers and writers, stroll through the old beautifully crafted buildings, and stand next to the Michelangelo’s David was a life altering event. I was humbled by what a young country I live in and how much culture and history is around us throughout the world. Not in a million years would I have ever thought that I would be lucky enough to experience such a trip, such a memory – and sharing it with people I cared about was such an amazing gift to me.

Do You Know What I Know?

Another story about my mother and her journey with Alzheimer’s was when she was spotted by teenagers in our neighborhood walking down the main highway near our house – toward I-95. Mom didn’t walk. This wasn’t her. Some people wander with this disease. It made us face the facts and decide what we needed to do about it.

After dad met with the Alzheimer’s Association, where they told him it was better for us to put her into a facility now while she still could adjust, we supported my dad’s decision to do just that.

One of my sisters and I went home to participate in this very difficult life changing day. When I walked in, I remember my sister, always strong, pulling me into the back room and crying on my shoulder. She shared with me that shortly before I got there, mom grabbed her and dad in the hallway, in a big family hug, crying and sharing “I’m so scared, we have to do something.” Mom didn’t know that we had made the decision to bring her to a home that specialized in Alzheimer’s. This taught me that mom knew her memory was slipping and she was scared. She didn’t know what help she needed, but she knew she needed help.

There was a lady in the first home where mom stayed that would tell everyone, “I’m going now.” She would slip into a time that her memory was gone, she wouldn’t remember things. Then, she would tell everyone, “I’m back now.” She would return to her lucid self.

This was the beginning of our family’s journey with my mom as she traveled through this phase of her life known as Alzheimer’s.

Beautiful Baby, Beautiful Brain

As a disease like Alzheimer’s progresses there can be difficult moments, and if you allow yourself, special moments that have the potential to make you smile, to bring you understanding, to give you gifts you could never imagine.


One such moment was years into mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s. Someone I knew was having a baby. I don’t even remember who now. I was the first born of four children. Not yet a mom myself, I had never thought to ask my mother what it was like to have her children and what it was like when she first became pregnant and had her first child.

I was laying on the bed with my mom just relaxing. It had been several years since we had been able to carry on a conversation. Every few months she might respond to a question with a one word answer, and I knew that there were at least times that she understood.

This occasion was one such occasion. As I laid there, I said, half out loud and half to myself, “I wonder what it was like when you had your first baby.” I didn’t expect that mom understood my question. I certainly didn’t expect an answer. I thought to myself, I wish I would have thought to have asked her about this when she could have told me.

Five minutes later, I heard a weak voice as I watched her face form as her lips spoke the word, slowly, “BE……U…….TA…….FL” and a tear traveled gently down her check.

I realized that she heard me, processed my question, and it took her all that time to respond. I will never forget that.

It is my belief when someone goes through brain injury, coma, Alzheimer’s, etc. that there is a chance they can hear you, and understand you, even if they can’t respond. And so, as my mother faced this journey in her life with Alzheimer’s I decided I would always assume she could hear and understand me, even if she couldn’t respond.

She proved that day, at least sometimes, that I was right.

The 36 Hour Day

Another journey I have taken with loved ones was my mother’s journey with Alzheimer’s. At first I didn’t understand the disease. I didn’t really understand she even had the disease in the early days.

I remember when I would call home and talk to my parents every Sunday morning, and she would tell me about going out to get the paper, and locking herself out of the house. I told her “There is probably something wrong with the lock, you need to have someone check the door.” Her reply was, “No, there’s nothing wrong with the lock. I think it’s me.” She said it lightheartedly with humor. She wasn’t angry about it, wasn’t upset about it.

Someone told us about a book called the “36 Hour Day” that told about Alzheimer’s. We read it and it helped us to understand this disease better, the decisions that had to be made, and the stages we see as mom progressed through this disease.

Strength, Gentleness, and Inspiration in Difficult Times

Connie, although going through a challenging time in her life, had other special moments that still warm my heart.


One time, shortly before the Michigan surgery, she was sitting in her special recliner. The steroids had made her double in size. She needed much help from her husband to move around. The amazing thing I remember is how well he understood Connie.

See, the brain tumor was in the front part of her brain, which effected her speech. She had gotten to the point when she tried to say something, something entirely different would come out. Her husband was the only person who could understand her.

I remember hearing Connie saying something like, “Purple dot on something.” I don’t really remember her words exactly, but I had no idea what she was saying. Immediately John said, “Oh, you want toast with grape jelly on it.” How did he know that? Wow!

Another favorite saying Connie had, that I thought was so beautifully precious was “Connie’s got to do the dance.” Her leg would start shaking. That was her way of telling us she had to go to the bathroom. The memory still brings a smile to my face, remembering her kindness, her gentleness, and her friendship. She will always be so special to me. She taught me to cope with this, to face it with a sense of humor, to depend upon a strength greater than any of us, and to take life in stride making the best of each day. Who has inspired you?